


Here without you baby...

by AsherWatt



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: AHH, Broken Hearts, Derek is gone, Flashbacks, I dont even know what to tag..., Longing, Lost Love, M/M, Past Love, Poor Stiles, Stiles misses him, im sorry for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:16:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5790427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsherWatt/pseuds/AsherWatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Because it is during these times that he needs Derek the most..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stiles pounded his fist against the wall choking on his breath as his sobs stuck in his throat. He wanted to scream, cry, beg, but he knew he could do nothing to get what he needed. Tears traced down his face as he held his phone close to his ear willing for the man to pick up. When the voicemail message started to play a scream tore itself from Stiles’ mouth and he collapsed to the ground by his bed. He threw his phone against the opposite wall and curled up into a little ball.

“Derek!” Stiles screamed frantically pulling his shirt down away from his neck. He hated the horrible pain in his chest every time he thought of the older man. He hated that the man had been gone for over a year but he still controlled every ounce of  his happiness. Because it was during these times that he needed Derek the most. Closing his eyes tightly Stiles wrapped his arms around his head and screamed.

…

_“I think this one is my favorite.” Derek whispered pressing a soft kiss to a mole on Stiles’ neck. “Or maybe this one.” He said, sliding down a little to press another kiss to a mole on the side of Stiles’ chest. Stiles just sighed blissed out from the make out session that they just pulled apart from. Stiles could feel Derek’s smile as he pressed soft kissed everywhere on his chest and neck. “I love you, Stiles.” Derek whispered pressing a final kiss to his lips._

_…_

“No! Derek!” Stiles sobbed “Please Derek!” Stiles really didn’t know what he was begging for. Derek could not hear him, he was long gone by now, off with the girl he ran off with in the first place. He left and took every piece of Stiles with him. At some point Stiles had reached over and got his phone back. Through blurry eyes and with shaking hands Stiles struggled to type in the all too familiar number. When the beep sounded he took a deep breath and tried to get the words to come out right. “Der- Derek.” Stiles said and then paused to take a deep breath when his voice cracked. “I don’t know why I keep calling. You probably aren’t even listening to me anymore. I just- I- I’m sorry.” _Click._ Stiles knocked his head against the floor a few times before picking himself up off the floor and sliding onto his bed.

…

_Stiles watched as Derek slid in his window with perfect ease. When he was in Stiles walked over to the window and looked out it at the ground below. “How do you even get up here?” Stiles asked when Derek wrapped his arms around his waist._

_“I climb” Derek whispered as he slowly rubbed his nose on the back of Stiles’ neck. Stiles sighed and leaned back into the older man’s touch._

_“Of course you do.” Stiles laughed tilting his head back to let Derek’s lips explore more of his neck. Derek hummed in amusement as he slowly pulled Stiles back to the bed._

_…_

Stiles lost count of the days, lost count of how many times he has cried, how many sleepless nights, nightmare filled days, and worst of all his memories were starting to fade. He forgot what it felt like to have Derek’s lips brush against his neck. He forgot how it felt to have Derek with him at all. What he could not forget is what it felt like when Derek walked out on him, or what it felt like when Derek told him that he didn’t love him, never did and never will. And the final image that was burned into his skull was when he fell to his knees in the middle of the street and watched as the tail lights of his car faded into the distance.

…

_“Tell me.” Derek pushed poking Stiles side. They were laying in the field behind Derek’s house and Stiles just shrugged smirking. “Come on, Stiles!” Derek groaned._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Stiles said sitting up and pulling himself out of Derek’s arms. Derek followed him easily pinning the smaller boy beneath him._

_“Sure.” Derek said peppering Stiles’ face with kisses. “Say it.” Derek said pressing his lips to Stiles ear causing him to shiver._

_“No.” Stiles chuckled and Derek sighed._

_“Please?” Derek asked pouting a little, causing Stiles to laugh._

_“No.” Stiles said crossing his arms over his chest._

_“Come on!” Derek sighed, I say it. All the time.”Derek leaned in close to Stiles’ ear and smiled. “I love you.”_

_“I know.” Stiles whispered and then laughed. Derek pinned him down again and Stiles laughed pulling Derek down on top of him. “I love you.”_

_…_

From somewhere across the world, Derek pulled his phone away from his ear and thew it across the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek's P.O.V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... I decided to make this a little longer than I planned. But someone asked for a Derek's point of view so this just kinda happened! Comment and tell me what you think and I will update the reunion soon!!

 

Pain.

Derek didn’t know if he could even feel anything else anymore. He didn’t know if he really wanted to. He knew that this was all his fault, he could not blame anyone but his stupid self for what was happening right now. Listening to the voicemails Stiles left him only served to break his heart more but he knew no matter what he did he could never make this better. “Why did you leave?” Derek groaned slamming his head back on the headboard.

But he knew why, he was not proud of it but he knew exactly why he had left.

He was scared.

Terrified actually, Stile had been the only person he had let back in, the only person he had let close enough to actually hurt him sense Kate. But that was not completely it, everyone close to him got hurt, his family, his pack, and Stiles had even gotten hurt. So Derek did the one thing he felt that he was good at.

He ran.

He wanted to save everyone the pain that followed him like a lost puppy, but as he listened to the sound of Stiles’ broken voice as he cried into the phone he knew that he had only fucked things up once again. Another thing he was famous for. He wanted to answer when Stiles called, he practically begged himself to answer but he knows that he can not face Stiles. He looked up through blurry eyes and saw his phone screen light up again, the familiar ringtone made his chest ache and he let out a broken moan.

When his pone went dark again Derek screamed. Tears streaked down his face and he wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes.   

…

_“How will I know?” Derek asked looking up at his mother from where he was laying on the floor. He had a book open on the floor under his face and he had dog eared the page so he could talk to his mother._

_“You just will.” She said and then smiled a little when Derek groaned, throwing his head back, Derek was only twelve and he was just at the stage of learning to control his wolf, and with this brought up the questions of mates. “Your wolf will tell you.”_

_“How did it happen for you and dad?” Derek asked his eyes sparkling at the thought of the upcoming story. He loves hearing about his parents and how they fell in love._

_“Well, one thing that will tell you is that you will hate to be apart. Even before your mating bond is complete. And if your mate has accepted the bond, it could kill you. Your wolf would go crazy in the absence of your mate and will drive itself into depression. Enough to shut itself down.” She sighed at this and Derek sat up his book completely forgotten at the gain of this new information. “But you said that a wolf can be mated with a human. What would happen then?” Derek asked his eyes wide._

_“The bond is just as strong there.” She sighed_

_“Same thing will happen, huh?” Derek said and his mother just nodded at him before standing and leaving the room._

_…_

Before Derek knew what he was doing he was standing and crossing the room. He picked up his phone threw the small amount of clothes in the bag that he had and left the room, not bothering to close the door behind him.

Derek flew down the road at seriously unsafe speeds, signs flew past in small green and white blurs as he chased the miles that he had lost more than a year ago. Every so often he had to wipe his face and he kept turning the radio up louder and louder to keep himself awake. Stiles’ last voice message echoed through his head, Stiles had said sorry, sorry like he did something wrong. Like he was the one to blame for Derek leaving.

Derek could feel his wolf, right under his skin threatening to push through his wall of control. He knew now, he thought that he could just pull himself away and everyone would be okay, but now he knew the truth. He didn’t know how he missed it before because now it was the only thing that he could think of.

Mate.

Stiles was his mate, and he had left him. All because he was being scared of something that he needed. So now as he sped his way back to beacon hills he just hoped that Stiles would be able to forgive him.

He needed Stiles to forgive him.

“Please, Stiles, I’m coming home…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter!! Comment for an update! Love you all <3

Stiles didn’t know how long it had been sense he called Derek, well sense he had listened to his voicemail message. He had given up. He didn’t want to care anymore but it was really all he could think about. His lock screen was still a picture of him and Derek, Scott took the picture. Derek had randomly picked Stiles up and threw him over his shoulder and in the picture he was hanging upside down laughing, while Derek looked over his shoulder at the camera. The picture was cute but Stiles loved the heart stopping smile that Derek was wearing. 

Stiles looked at the clock and saw that it was three in the morning. He had long lost the sense of keeping track of the days. He barely went to school anymore and everyone just kind of accepted it. He was alone; his dad had to work all night tonight because there was a case that he has been working on that he said he had to solve. Stiles had been so much like him, but recently he had lost all his will to help Scott, and the pack that was still here solve anything. 

He knew this wasn’t fair. To anyone, not himself, his dad, his friends, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. He didn’t care…

“Stupid.” Stiles whispered to himself feeling the familiar burn of tears in his eyes. He had talked himself into believing that this was all his fault. Who else could have done this? He had done something to make Derek hate him, everyone soon left him. It was just something he was trying to accept. 

A loud bang caused him to fly up from his bed.

He frantically searched in the dark until his hand landed on his bat. Gripping the bat tightly he walked slowly out his bedroom door and to the top of the stairs. Squatting down at the top, he listened for the noise again but heard nothing. Sighing he stood up and chuckled a little to his paranoid self. He was just about to turn when…

“Stiles?”

Stiles screamed flailing his arms out, dropping the bat, before falling right down the stairs. He groaned when he came to a rest at the bottom and rubbed the back of his neck. Then a figure appeared at the top of his stairs and he screamed again and tried to scoot away but the person was right next to him impossibly fast.

“Stiles? Stiles! Are you okay?” The person asked and Stiles paused for a moment because the voice sounded way too familiar. A light flicked on and Stiles gasped, blinking, he thought for sure he had died.

Because standing above him was Derek, his hair was a little longer and he looked tan. Well more tan than he remembered. Stiles was breathless, his mouth was dry and he kept opening and shutting it but no sounds were coming out of it.

“Derek?” Stiles finally managed to get out, a choked sob came out after it because he couldn’t believe it. Derek leaned down and softly brushed his fingertips over the side of Stiles’ face. “Derek?” Stiles asked again, still not believing what he was seeing. Derek helped the younger boy to his feet and steadied him when he swayed a little. 

“Stiles.” Derek whispered resting his hands on the other boy’s shoulders. They were locked in eye contact and Derek felt a small smile appear on his face. It almost felt foreign to him because he had not felt like this sense the day he had packed up all of his things and moved out.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Stiles asked.

“I came back.” Derek whispered ducking his head a little to meet Stiles’ eyes better. “For you.” And with that he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Stiles’ lips. Stiles was shocked but kissed him back at first. Derek deepened the kiss pushing Stiles back against the wall as he let his hands roam over the younger boy’s bare chest. Stiles twisted his hands in the front of Derek’s jacket and suddenly shoved him back.

Derek blinked in surprise when the younger boy shoved him off and looked at him again. “Stiles?” he questioned.

“Get out.” Stiles croaked out causing Derek’s heart to break all over again.

“Stiles, wait listen.” Derek tried only to have Stiles push him again shoving both his hands into Derek’s chest. 

“Out!” Stiles screamed collapsing again, and Derek stood above him trying to decide if he should listen or not…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go! Comment for the next chapter!!

Derek was torn, every instinct he had was either telling him to listen to his mate or to sit down with him and comfort the crap out of him. Stiles had a hand wrapped over his face and the other wrapped protectively around his stomach, he was turned slightly away from Derek like he was trying to shield himself from someone’s fists. Derek rubbed a hand over his face when Stiles whimpered a small “Out.” Finally at the brokenness in Stiles’ voice Derek decided what he was going to do, dropping down so his back was leaning on the same wall as Stiles.  
Stiles didn’t move, didn’t remove his hands away, and made no move to look at Derek. “Stiles.” Derek raced out and lightly touched Stiles’ knee but he flinched away causing Derek to let out a quiet whimper. “Please, Stiles, let me explain.” Derek whispered adjusting himself so he is sitting towards the younger boy’s face. He slowly reached out and placed a hand on Stiles’ knee and Stiles let out a quiet sob but he did not pull away this time. “I didn’t leave because I wanted too.” Derek said

Stiles scoffed moving so he was sitting up straighter and he pulled his arm away from his face. He had hot anger burning in his eyes and he showed it all to Derek, not bothering to hide any of it. 

“Just listen please!” Derek pleaded scooting his back so he was sitting with his back to the wall again. Stiles sighed, his eyes softening a little as he locked eyes with Derek again. He melted a little when he looked into Derek’s eyes and stayed silent just taking in everything that he had missed so much. “I missed you so much, Stiles.” Derek said reaching his hand forward to brush it lightly down the side of Stiles face, Stiles caught his wrist before he got there and Derek blinked in surprise.

“Why?” Stiles asked dropping Derek’s wrist, Derek pulled it back into his body but didn’t answer. “Why did you leave?” Stiles snapped Derek winced again at the harshness in his voice and he rubbed his hands over his eyes trying to keep from letting the tears escape. “Okay, so what is it? You didn’t want to leave, or you just walked out because you found out that you just didn’t want to put up with me anymore? What now? Did you get your fill of everything else so you think you can come back here and break my heart all over again?” Stiles asked he had long sense given up the will to not cry so tears fell freely down his cheeks making Derek feel worse. 

“No, Stiles.” Derek started but apparently Stiles wasn’t done. 

“Derek, I trusted you. I gave you EVERYTHING!” Stiles said yelling at the end. “I gave you everything and then you just decide that I am not good enough for you? Was this all just a game? You pick me up tell me you love me, just to leave and wait until I almost go completely crazy to try to shove yourself back in to do it all over?” At some point Stiles had stood and Derek quickly followed, he only faintly remarked that if Stiles’ father came back it would be a weird thing to explain. 

“Stiles, please. Let’s go to your room. What if your dad comes home?” Derek asked taking a step forward but Stiles just moved out of his touch.

“Good! Maybe he will shoot you! Because God knows how much I would like to!” Stiles snapped and Derek stilled, he looked up at Stiles and the look on his face made the first tear fall.  
Derek turned his back to Stiles for a moment and let his head rest against the wall. “I don’t want to fight.” He whispered.

“You’re a little late there!” Stiles snapped 

“I didn’t want to hurt you!” Derek finally snapped back and Stiles laughed, actually laughed.

“Then why the hell did you leave?” Stiles asked pushing his hands out in front of him. “Because if you couldn’t tell that is the only thing you could have don’t to hurt me, land ya did it!”

“That’s not what I meant.” Derek groaned

“You have to freaking talk to me for once Derek!” Stiles said exasperated “Just talk to me!” 

“Everyone around me gets hurt! I- I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Derek was still turned away from him and his shoulders shook a little with his sobs. 

“Derek.” Stiles gasped out when the other man finished. “Derek?” Stiles grabbed his arm and pulled him back so he was facing him. “The only thing that will hurt me is you not being here.” Stiles said. “Please, never leave again.” Stiles said falling into Derek’s open arms. Derek wrapped his arms around the younger boy and breathed in his scent. 

“Stiles, are we okay?” Derek asked rubbing the younger boy’s back. 

“I don’t know…” Stiles said honestly and Derek was crushed at the words but nodded anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the long wait, i've been really busy lately but now I'm updating. Sorry if there's any mistakes I am using the talk to text app on my phone. Well without any further procrastinating here's the chapter!

Stiles finally pulled back and led Derek up the stairs to his bedroom. When he shut the door behind them he took a moment to just look around and he faintly noticed that there had been almost no change to the room from when he had left. The bed was not made, but that was a normal thing for the younger boy, Derek took a seat on the edge of the bed but stiles walked over and looked out the window. 

"Will we ever be OK again?" Derek asked not really sure if he even wanted to hear the answer. He didn't know if he was relieved or even more worried when the younger boy didn't answer, just shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he continued to look out the window.

" I don't know." The boy whispered as he turned around and met eyes with the older man. "We already went over this!" 

"Listen, Stiles, I want to explain the reason to you, I really do. But it's difficult because I really don't understand it either! I know it's sounds stupid and you have every right in the book to tell me to leave right now, But I really wish you would just hear me out." Derek said as he watched the boy for any movement that might show forgiveness but all he saw was the shell of the man he used to know.

"At first I didn't want to believe that you were gone." Stiles started making his way over to sit on the bed but he did not sit close enough for them to touch. "I drove to your house and waited for you there. Scott had to actually drag me home. I didn't tell my dad at first, after I realized you were gone that is, I didn't know what to think myself so I just stopped doing things. It started with just the normal pack meetings, I skipped a couple of them Scott really didn't seem to notice because he had his whole world in Allison. But then I stopped going to school, because I just couldn't take it anymore I was so confused I didn't know what I could've done to make you leave and not tell me." Stiles stopped talking after this he waited to see if Derek would have anything to say, but a long silence stretched between them. 

"I called you. I don't even know how many times I called you, probably into the thousands. At first I didn't say anything when the voicemail picked up, but then I started leaving messages and I don't know if I should've done that because it only made me even more depressed to think that you heard my messages just didn't care anymore." He looked up eyes glassy with tears that he didn't even know he was capeable to produce anymore. 

"I thought about you every day." Derek said is he reached his hand out to try to take the other man's. Stiles shifted slightly so he pulled his him back and put it in his lap quietly. "It hurt me so much to stay away. But like I said for I had to, I'm a magnet for trouble stiles I don't want you to get hurt!"

"Derek if you haven't noticed I am a magnet for trouble as well. I was always the one to be in trouble first, so trust me there trouble is no new thing for me!" Stiles didn't know what to say anymore, he wanted to be happy he did! He should be excited isn't that what he had been wishing for this full-time that Derek had been gone?

"So can we can start over. I want to stiles, I have to. I need you and I finally realized it that's why came back. Stiles we need each other." Derek felt a rush of feelings and he leaned in close taking Stiles face into his hands as the tears started to leak from his eyes. "Stiles, you're my mate. I'm so sorry I did not notice this before, but we do need each other. Please, just give me a second chance." Derek finished the sentence with a kiss. 

Stiles was shocked to hear these words but when he felt the all too familiar sensation of Derek's lips on his, it was like his world was falling apart only to be snapped right back together again. He returned the kiss with all he had and they ended up falling back on the bed together. "Are you here to stay, Derek?" Stiles asked when he pulled back for some air. 

"I will never leave you again." Derek promised and stiles nodded a small smile gracing his lips for the first time in ages. 

"Are you going to tell the others you are back?" Stiles asked leaning fully on Derek as a yawn tore it's way through his mouth. 

"Not yet, please sleep stiles, you are exhausted." Derek said making his way to get up only to be pulled back down to the bed.

"Stay here." Stiles gasped out and Derek only nodded taking the younger boy into his arms again.   
"We are so talking about this in the morning." Stiles sassed as he yawned again. 

"Goodnight Stiles." Derek whispered

"Please don't let this be a dream." Stiles whispered as his eyes blinked shut and his breathing evened out.


End file.
